Inspiration

Chicago moms are staying healthy by staying connected online

When face-to-face social time isn't possible, new moms are turning to online resources.

Most first-time moms will tell you the culture shock that comes with going from being around people all day — especially if you work in the corporate world — to being home day and night, mostly alone with your baby, can be pretty isolating.

Connecting with others face-to-face would be ideal, says Old Town resident Chris Beer, mother of a 5-month-old son, “but a lot of times your spare time is at two in the morning after changing a diaper, so it’s the ideal time to look at message boards and Facebook and Meet-up.”

Beer is just one of thousands of moms across Chicago using social media to gather resources, make friends, schedule events and stay healthy. She started connecting with other moms using social media after joining the Active Moms’ Club (AMC), a fitness and wellness program that’s also a supportive group environment for its members.

AMC Founder Cassandra Hawkinson says that along with pre- and post-natal fitness classes and wellness education, a vital piece of the AMC puzzle is the community that grows out of “like-minded moms who want to do something good for themselves in addition to raising their kids.” She hosts an AMC Facebook page and an AMC Meet-Up.com site where moms can connect. Her online community of Facebook and Meet-up members includes more than 250 moms and moms-to-be.

“Women who are brand-new members are really willing to participate, because they are trying to find their new identity as moms,” says Hawkinson. “They’re trying to acclimate. They’re trying to find a new lifestyle with their babies.”

The need for speed

One of the biggest benefits new moms experience is speedy and varied responses, according to Alev Runtz, a North Center mom with a 1-year-old son. She participates in AMC, and uses social networking to connect with other moms. “Tools like Facebook are so helpful because you can reach out to a broader network of people who are going through what you’re going through,” she says.

When seeking advice, “It’s one thing for me to ask my weekly play group moms,” she says, a group that is comprised of about 10 people, “versus asking all the moms who live in Tampa and Chicago. It’s just really easy to ask all the moms I’m connected to, three times that amount, and those are all people that you trust!” Getting answers from about 30 women, quickly and easily, means she can make informed decisions faster and move on to the next task—or take a much-needed rest.

Social networking, depression, and the nitty gritty

Katie Hanson, PhD, clinical psychologist at Swedish Covenant Hospital’s Health Psychology Department, says social networking can sometimes provide important support for new moms.

“One of the things that can result from being isolated post-partum and later in parenthood is issues related to depression and anxiety,” she explains. “Prevention can come from remaining connected with others. That can happen in many ways, including social networking.”

Note, while Hanson says staying connected can help ward off post-partum depression or baby blues, she cautions that it’s not a cure-all: “If you have depression, online support won’t be enough—that needs to be handled by a woman’s obstetrician and a mental health professional as well.”

Hanson says the ability to go online and ask questions, where we “have a tendency to be as honest as possible, for better or worse,” can be very freeing.

It’s comforting to connect with other parents who relate to our experiences, she explains. “It mitigates issues related to isolation, especially for mothers of newborns.” In particular, some mothers find it easier to say things online that aren’t always socially acceptable, like “I find the babyhood stage really boring” or “I’m one and done.”

Beyond the social and emotional support, Hanson says, lies another bonus of social networking: information. She cites the case of a patient whose child was born with congenital blindness; the mother got connected online for not only emotional support but also physician referrals for her child and other basic information that helped her baby and herself.

Social networking and social graces

One of the benefits of social networking is that it allows for a little wiggle room. You don’t want to throw all your manners out the window, but you don’t have to be as meticulous as you would be in person.

But for that reason, Hanson cautions there is a downside to some aspects of social networking. In particular, some people don’t edit themselves as they would in face-to-face conversations, which can lead to hurt feelings. “One thing you don’t always get is the true back and forth of a real-time conversation,” she adds.

Karen Kasparaitis, an Uptown resident who is mom to a 3-year-old daughter and a 1-year-old son, appreciates the anonymity some social networks provide. Like Beer and Runtz, she is active online through AMC, but she also spends time on the Neighborhood Parents Network of Chicago (NPN). She says there are some topics there that are controversial and easier to discuss anonymously — like when a group of parents started a discussion about making big changes to the local school.

On the other hand, Kasparaitis says, NPN has offered her plenty of opportunities to get highly personal emotional and practical support. “I used it religiously when I was a first-time mom,” she says. “Your child hits certain milestones, eating routines, new foods, sleep schedules, certain games and activities, things on the market and what to buy for your infant at that stage, breastfeeding…” The list of topics Kasparaitis has discussed with other moms is extensive, and she says nothing beats the advice she can get from women who have experienced precisely what she’s going through. “It’s good to get other moms’ insight,” she explains.

The bottom line: Whether you choose to participate in a big or small way, with your full name or anonymously, social networking has the ability to get you connected to a world of resources.

For the newbies: What is social networking?

If you’re new to the idea of social networking, the concept is simple: Find an online community (Facebook is the most popular starting point but there are many others) that discusses a topic that interests you. Join the conversation. You can be as involved as you want, and you can be as personal — or as anonymous — as you like. You may carry on conversations with people you never meet in person, but with whom you share intimate personal details and stories — and those connections can be as meaningful and powerful as other face-to-face relationships you have.

Get Social in Chicago

There are countless blogs and message boards run by, and for, parents in Chicago. As with most topics on the web, you need to sift through a lot of sub-par material before you get to the good stuff. Here are a few sure-fire hits to get you connected to great people, places and things:

- Neighborhood Parents Network of Chicago: http://www.npnparents.org/index.asp
- Chicago Parent: http://chicagoparent.com/
- The Chicago Moms: http://thechicagomoms.com/
- Wee Windy City: http://www.chicagonow.com/blogs/wee-windy-city/
- Green Parent Chicago: http://www.greenparentchicago.com/

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